Surgery for Micaelyn

Please be in prayer for Micaelyn.  She has surgery tomorrow to remove her tonsils and adenoids.  It may be only a "minor" surgery, but she is considered a high risk patient.  Also she is understandably very nervous.  The last surgery (tongue reduction) she had was very traumatic.  She was in the PICU for 4 days.  During most of that time she was on a ventilator with an NG tube, catheter, multiple IVs, and restraints to hold her in place and keep her from pulling all the tubes out.  Plus there was tremendous pain from the surgery wound.  She was supposed to be in a medically induced coma, but the sedation drugs didn't work very well on her.  Which meant they kept maxing her out on multiple drugs which caused even more problems.  To make matters worse Caleb was still recovering from his own surgery so I wasn't able to stay with her all the time (plus the staff preferred us not be there very much as the slightest movement from anyone in the room would wake her).  And when they had taken her back for the surgery she had screamed for me with all her might (the "happy juice" they had given her had no effect on her).  Anyone who has adopted kids that have dealt with previous abandonment and trauma will tell you this is one of the worst things for our kids.  From the child's perception the parent is abandoning her, letting her go be further traumatized.   After the surgery Micaelyn was obviously very traumatized.  She was withdrawn for quite some time.  Even now she talks about how we "left her there," how much she hurt, how much she missed me, etc.

Please pray there are no complications tomorrow (no parent likes hearing their child is "high risk" before surgery).  Pray she gets to come home afterwards instead of being admitted.  Pray for an easy recovery, and please pray for God to give her peace and comfort, for no abandonment/trauma issues to arise.

After her last surgery

This was when we were leaving to go home.  This is the sad withdrawn look she had for quite awhile after surgery.  She finally perked up when we went to Dollywood one evening.  It was a ride on the carousel that made her smile.  Not but a few days later I was looking through some pictures we had finally gotten developed from her foster family in China and saw a picture of her taken shortly before we adopted her.  She was on a carousel with her foster grandmother.

Autumn Snowfall!

We are truly blessed to live in a place as beautiful as the foothills of the Smoky Mountains!

The trees were still full of beautiful fall colored leaves underneath all the snow!

Jonah's first time seeing now.  (He did get a coat on right after these pictures was taken - I just had to capture his initial reaction to the snow!)

The big kids were too busy playing in the snow to stop for pictures, so I took a few of the babies and quickly got them inside to warm up!  Elianna LOVED the snow and got MAD when I made her go inside.  Hannah was mildly interested but didn't really want to play in it.  Jonah was very curious, happy at first but fairly quickly lost interest.  He seemed to think he couldn't walk in it as he kept looking at his feet and stayed firmly planted in place (unusual for him) unless I held his hand.

Too much sickness!

It's hard to believe Jonah has been home a full month already!  The month has flown by in a rush of happiness coupled with a lot of sickness.

Jonah was started on antibiotics soon after he got home.  Unfortunately he passed a horrible case of strep throat on to me within his first days at home, and it took both a shot and a round of oral antibiotics to clear me up (I had a very high fever for days!), but not before other kids in the house ended up sick as well!  I thought we would never get everybody well!

Jonah finished his antibiotics without getting completely well, so he was put on another stronger antibiotic to help with the nasty infection in his nose.  Now he is on a 3rd antibiotic, and unfortunately it looks as though he will finish that one also without getting well.  He also has an antibacterial ointment I put in his nose to help with the infection there (a culture of his nose tested positive for staph infection and strep b - this is NOT the same strep that causes strep throat - see this article for an explanation http://www.livestrong.com/article/255715-causes-of-a-strep-b-infection/#page=1).  I bathe him multiple times a day to help clean junk out of his nose, and I use saline nose spray in his nose throughout the day.  However, his nose is just constantly full of green crud and blood.

As if Jonah's infections were not enough, nor the horrible case of strep throat I had combined with a bunch of other sick kids, Elianna ended up with MRSA in her eye.  He eye looked AWFUL!  For many days I was worried she would lose her vision in that eye.  Thankfully her doctor had done a culture to determine what was causing the infection so we were able to get her on some really strong antibiotics to fight it off.  She has been on an oral antibiotic as well as a topical ointment in her eye.  Getting her to take the antibiotic and let me put the ointment in her eye has not been fun but she is now much better (she would refuse any food or drink in which I tried to conceal the antibiotic, I finally found a really strong cherry juice that worked well to hide the medicine flavor).  I do still see some small signs of infection so I'm going to continue using the meds on her until we are positive it is all gone.

Needless to say although it has been a very happy month full of much joy and love it has also been a hard month dealing with so much sickness!

Her eye actually got much worse looking than this.  The white of her eye turned completely red, the area around her eye got horribly swollen and inflamed looking, she had tons of nasty goo draining from it, and she even had bloody tears.  It was really scary to see it get so bad, especially once we knew it was MRSA causing the infection!

My little buddy just can't get well!  His poor nose is just a mess!

Best video ever!

Jonah spent most of his life behind metal bars with very little stimulation or opportunity to play and have fun.

Jonah is in the center of the photo in a yellow shirt and red pants.

For over a week Jonah has been in the arms of his loving daddy.  He's not only been loved and cared for, he's learning about new things like good food, toys, and playtime in the bathtub.  Jonah loves to play in the water!  Isn't he adorable?  I can't wait till they get home so I can love on him myself!

If you'd like to show some love to this precious little boy you can donate to our family sponsorship account on Reece's Rainbow to help bring him home.  http://reecesrainbow.org/75910/sponsormurray

Change the world...

The following is from Ernie's Facebook page Saturday morning: The flight from the province to Guangzhou is always tough. Most of the kids are horrified, the local Chinese are confused by all of the Americans with Chinese kids and there's a sense in the many of the kids that they are leaving the only home they have every known. Jonah cried during takeoff but I got him to sleep soon thereafter. I was just caressing his face and he slowly fell asleep. Such a sweet little guy.

In nearly 4 years of life Jonah had probably never fallen asleep with someone caressing his face. He had probably never been lovingly held as he fell asleep.  He had never had someone hold him all night long.  He had never been loved unconditionally.  Instead he had spent the majority of his life behind metal bars in a harsh institution devoid of stimulation, nurturing, and love.  In a moment of time Jonah's life completely changed.  Through the miracle of adoption this little orphan - abandoned, unwanted, unloved - became our beloved son.

"Adopting one child won't change the world, but for that child the world will change."

Because I have Down syndrome...

The following was from Ernie's Facebook status this morning (including the picture):

My name is Jonah. Today when my daddy got my adoption paperwork it came with no shot records. All the other families had shot records. When he asked why I had none they said because I have Down syndrome I was not worthy of receiving any shots. My daddy cried when he heard this. He then told me that God loves all of His children and that I would be fine.

Notice the redness under Jonah's nose.  That is because he has been denied even the most basic medical care.  He has a chronic bloody nose.  He is stuffy and can't breathe well.  He is almost 4, and although some developmental delays are to be expected due to his having Down syndrome, his delays are more extreme than they should be due to being left in a crib (more like a cage with it's metal bars and hard floor) all day in an impoverished orphanage.  Jonah can't eat much other than rice (even noodles are too difficult unless they are broken into tiny pieces) because he can't chew well enough to break food up. He does walk but not very well.  This summer he turns 4 years old, but he is very much a "baby" and seems more like a 1 yr old.

Jonah has suffered from neglect due to the conditions of the orphanage in which he has lived for nearly 4 years.  But aside from the poor conditions of the orphanage he has suffered because he has Down syndrome.

Because he has Down syndrome Jonah has not received any immunizations.

Because he has Down syndrome Jonah was not given medical care for his illnesses.

Because he has Down syndrome people stare at Jonah rudely.

Because he has Down syndrome people act scared of Jonah.

Because he has Down syndrome people act disgusted by Jonah.

Because he has Down syndrome people ask what is wrong with Jonah.

Because he has Down syndrome Jonah waited almost 2 years to have his file prepared for adoption.

Because he has Down syndrome Jonah waited almost 2 more years to be adopted, even though there are literally thousands upon thousands of people waiting to adopt a child.  All this time he was considered "special focus" and was listed on the "shared list" that is available to all agencies, meaning he could have been adopted by anyone working with any agency.  The restrictions that are placed on some children (e.g. can't be adopted by singles, families must already have a completed and logged-in dossier, etc.) didn't apply to him.  He was made available to anyone that qualified to adopt in an effort to reach more prospective parents, just like so many other precious children who continue to wait because they have Down syndrome.

Because he has Down syndrome Jonah was featured on Reece's Rainbow, an amazing organization dedicated to helping "hard-to-place"children find families, especially kids with Down syndrome.  He was featured on there for many months before we chose to adopt him.  If you would like to be a part of the blessing that comes in showing this precious child the love he so deserves, the medical care he greatly needs you can donate to our family sponsorship page here:
http://reecesrainbow.org/75910/sponsormurray

Jonah, you may have Down syndrome, but it will never define you.  You will be known not because you have Down syndrome, you will be known for the wonderful person you are.  I will make sure of it.  And your Daddy.  And all of your many siblings.  You have a family now.  You are wanted.  You are so adored.  You are treasured.

Jonah, YOU ARE LOVED!!!!!

There is always love in Daddy's hands...

Reflections on Father's Day...

When my husband and I first met one of the things that drew us together was how well we could relate to each other's desire for our fathers to have played a bigger role in our lives.  Growing up I only saw my dad a few times a year.  He left my mom when I was very young, and from that point on he had minimal involvement in my life.  I do believe he loved me, but I always wished he had done more to actually show me his love.  Ernie's story was very similar, except that he had grown up with even less contact from his dad.

Both our dads ended up having more children with new wives.  Those children were given the attention and love from our dads we so greatly missed.  Don't misunderstand, we are very grateful for that!  We love those siblings, even if we rarely see them, and truly want the best for them!  We are glad they never felt the sting of rejection we felt from our dads.  But my husband understands what I mean when I say I feel like "yesterday's leftovers."

Growing up without a dad is hard.  I know if there were anything my husband wishes could have been different in his life it would be to have grown up knowing a father's love.  As he became an adult he was able to establish a relationship with his dad, but as I know from my experience with my own father a distant relationship will never be enough to heal the hurt and damage caused by growing up feeling rejected by your own dad.  When my father died I was full of grief, but while I mourned his loss one of the strongest feelings I had was the sadness that our relationship would never be better, that all hope of being closer to him was gone.

So Father's Day has always come with mixed feelings for both Ernie and me.  However, this Father's Day Ernie got the greatest blessing ever.  A child - an orphan... abandoned, unwanted, and unloved - walked into his arms, and both their lives were forever changed for the better.  Someone recently questioned Ernie's role in our adoptions, even suggesting he "be a man and say NO MORE" and that I am "not allowing him to have a decent, peaceful life."  Oh, if only those who don't understand could see the joy in his heart!!!

Ernie has talked to my mom several times while he is in China, and she has seen his posts on Facebook.  As she said to me this morning, "Ernie doesn't need to fly on a plane to be on cloud nine - he's already there with his precious little boy!"  She noted how incredibly happy he is, how much he is enjoying his new son, and how fiercely he is willing to defend him against those who see him as worthless due to his having Down syndrome.

I am so proud of my husband for the man he is, for the father he has become despite having grown up without one.  I thank God everyday for sending him into my life.  I am grateful for his love and for our great friendship (we truly are best friends!).  I am amazed at the blessings God has poured into our lives.  I pray those who don't understand will open their hearts and minds to accept the joy we have in our family, even if the way we have chosen to build our family is vastly different from their own.  I pray broken relationships are mended and distant relationships grow stronger.  I pray those we love will realize how precious our children are and burn with a desire to show them the love they deserve.  I pray this precious little child grows to understand how greatly loved his is, how much he is wanted, how wonderful and incredibly special he is!

Happy Father's Day!!!

Travel time!

Just a brief note to say that travel approval we were waiting for, well it came weeks ago.  Yep, that's right.  This Father's Day my husband will have the best gift ever!  I'll be posting pictures soon!

So how is Jonah doing?

In a recent post I focused on the conditions in Jonah's orphanage.  This post is all about Jonah himself.

When another family traveled recently to Jonah's orphanage to adopt their own child they blessed us with new pictures of him.  We were so excited to finally have current pictures of Jonah, and naturally my first thought was to see if he looked healthy.  I wasn't pleased with what I saw.  His nose looked cruddy with both junk and blood.  One of his ears looked red with infection.  His cheeks looked flushed with fever.  His lips looked chapped, and there was a sore near his mouth.

Kids with Down syndrome tend to get sick more frequently and more severely than other kids.  Even in a clean home environment with parents to care for them and great medical care they suffer more with illness.  Jonah's orphanage would be a bad place for even a healthy child, but for a child with Down syndrome it's downright dangerous.  We desperately need to get Jonah out of that orphanage.  We are at the very end of the process and will be getting our travel approval anytime now.  However, we can't make any travel arrangements until we have the money to pay for them.  Please consider making a tax-deductible donation to Reece's Rainbow to help us rescue this precious little boy!

Here is the link to the donation site.  Jonah is known as Breck on Reece's Rainbow because that is the name they used to advocate for him long before we chose to adopt him.
http://reecesrainbow.org/75910/sponsormurray

Moving down...

We are moving to a new home.  Everyone keeps asking if we are "moving up."  No, we're actually moving to a smaller, older home.  This current adoption is our 7th adoption in just 9 years.  The adoption expenses themselves have been enough to break us financially, but add to that all the medical bills (multiple special needs children means a lot more medical bills) along with the normal costs of raising children like food, shoes, etc. and it becomes obvious that we have to cut expenses somehow.  Moving to a cheaper home seemed the best option to both help with our current financial situation and also to be in a better position financially to adopt more children, help other adoptive families, donate money towards better orphan care, and donate more to the church.

The home we are moving to is VERY different from our last home.  It's smaller with a lot less closet space and also less garage/storage space.  It has fewer bedrooms, but we are converting the dining room to a bedroom to help with that.  It's older, built in 1970 and never really updated (e.g. the tubs are harvest gold colored, typical 70's color).  The floors need to be replaced, especially in the bedrooms.  The heating/air conditioning situation is a problem that will have to be replaced once we can afford it (we'll be very hot this summer!).  The windows need replaced, and there's other work to be done as well.  However, the house is in pretty good condition overall given its age and the lack of updating.  We preferred to get a home that needed some work since it would be cheaper knowing we would do the work little by little as we could afford it.

One of the biggest differences is the location.  Our last home was way out in the country where you heard more cows than cars.  There were a lot of empty fields around, and there were no worries about the kids playing in the road.  There were gorgeous views of fields, farmland, hills, and mountains in all directions.  Every morning you could see the sunrise over the Smoky Mountains, and in the evening it set over the ridge to the immediate north of our home.  Our new home is right in the middle of town.  We have a tiny front yard, and the street we are on sees plenty of traffic.  (This is a huge adjustment for the kids and a constant source of concern for me since it would take only the briefest moment for one of the toddlers to get into the road.)  We are close enough to the main road to hear nonstop traffic, and there is also a steady stream of sirens since we live close to the fire and police station.

However, despite how different our new home is and the fact it is both older and smaller, we love it.  It may be right in the middle of town without all the gorgeous views we had in the country, but we can walk to the kids' schools, several different parks, the library, and anywhere else we could want to go.  We are only a block away from the greenway that goes for miles, and there are sidewalks all over town as well.  We have great neighbors, and our kids love having a friend right next door to play with.  This is where God has led us, and we are excited about the future here in our new home!

Who cares what color the bathtub is when you've got such cute little babies to play in it?

All the girls are sharing what is supposed to be the master bedroom.  We figured it best to give them the biggest room since there were more of them sharing a room than in any other room, and it doesn't have a bathroom anyways.  Eventually we'll get mattresses to go under their beds so there will be more bed space (right now the babies sleep near mommy).

I was so proud of Caleb for not being upset about the pink carpet in his room.  Most boys his age would have complained.  Not that he likes it, but he said he knew we would replace it whenever we can afford it.  He has been a real trooper about moving.

A typical evening at our old home, our kids playing with our neighbors in the street.  We'll miss the peacefulness of that street (there were only a handful of homes on it), the beautiful ridge line to the north (visible in the picture), the view of the Smoky Mountains to the south, and the farmland and fields all around.  We'll especially miss the neighbors whose kids are in this picture.  We'll always be grateful for the time we had there!

Let's get him home!

When we first committed to adopting Jonah we joined a group on Facebook for people adopting from his orphanage.  As soon as I was on the group I started reading through all the old posts to find out as much as I could about his orphanage.  Unfortunately it soon became clear his orphanage was not one of the better ones (not too surprising since it is in one of the poorest provinces, and it is several hours away from the capital city of that province).  In fact, the conditions there sounded downright grim.

As I looked through pictures taken by other families who had traveled there I knew the descriptions were not an exaggeration.  I noticed not only did the building itself look grim (almost no toys, "cribs" looked more like cages, paint was fading and chipping off the walls) the children themselves looked truly pathetic.  In pictures at other orphanages kids are often seen playing on the floor with other children and caretakers.  In the pictures of Jonah's orphanage kids are just sitting in their metal cribs.  There are pictures taken by a number of different families who all traveled at different times, but in all the different pictures kids are just sitting in their cribs.  Most of the children appear to have vacant expressions, just staring mindlessly into space as the day passes by.  Many also appear physically unwell - they have sores on their face, redness around their eyes, runny noses, etc.

There are a number of smaller "group home" care centers where children receive medical care, therapies, lots of stimulation, and even love and affection by the caretakers.  In some orphanages younger children even attend preschool classes.  There are plenty of toys and clothes and enough food for all the children.  Unfortunately Jonah's orphanage is most definitely NOT one of these places.  No orphanage, no matter how good, can replace the love and care of a family, but the worse the environment the more damage that is done to the children.

Given the substandard conditions at Jonah's orphanage it is all that much more important we get to him without delay.  We are now awaiting our travel approval, which could come at any time, and once it comes the only thing holding up travel is a lack of funding.  Please consider praying for our Jonah and for us to have the funds for travel as soon as we get our TA, share our tax-deductible fundraising site on Reece's Rainbow, and if you are able please consider donating to help get our precious child out of a miserable orphanage and into the arms of his family.

Here is the link to our tax-deductible fundraising site on Reece's Rainbow, an amazing organization which advocated for Jonah long before we ever committed to adopt him.  (He is known as Breck on RR.)
http://reecesrainbow.org/75910/sponsormurray

This is how Jonah spends his days.  He is in the center of the picture wearing a yellow shirt and red pants.

Another picture from a different day.  So so bored... 

Jonah isn't in this picture, but it shows another day in his room.

...and yet another day of kids just sitting bored in their cribs.

No child should have to grow up like this.

Jonah, in desperate need of a bath and decent skin care.  Some boy clothing would be nice as well!

A Birthday Challenge

This Sunday (April 20) marks Caleb's 10th birthday.  In 10 years we have never once had a party to celebrate his birthday.  He has been to parties for friends (we minimize those to just the closest friends due to costs of birthday presents) and seen lots of pictures on Facebook of kids having parties with fancy cakes, cool decorations, treat bags for all the kids, and of course tons of presents for the birthday child.  Yet despite seeing the fun celebrations of other kids Caleb has never once complained about not having a party for himself.  He knows we don't throw parties because of the cost and our need to save money for all the adoptions we have done.

This year to celebrate Caleb's birthday I want to throw him a "virtual party."  Everyone is invited!  For a gift all you have to do is give a tax-deductible donation to Reece's Rainbow to help bring home Caleb's newest brother.  Here is the link:  http://reecesrainbow.org/75910/sponsormurray

People often asked what Caleb (our bio son, the first child in our family) thinks about us adopting "so many" kids, especially special needs kids.  Some people even suggest that by spending so much money to adopt these children and then both time and money to raise them once they are home we are taking too much away from Caleb.

The fact is Caleb LOVES what we are doing!  In fact, he has already asked if we could "go ahead and choose another child to adopt after we get Jonah home."  As to what he thinks about the fact Jonah has Down syndrome he asked us after the Buddy Walk last year when we would finally adopt a child with Down syndrome so he is really excited about having a little brother with Down syndrome.

Caleb is a very tender-hearted and loving child.  He has tons of energy just like any other little boy, but he also has an amazing heart with lots of compassion for those in need.  He cried when we visited Micaelyn's orphanage in China and he saw all the children left behind.  Likewise he has cried when seeing homeless people on the streets, even going so far as to give his own money to them and begging me to give them more.  He also has a great desire to help children with special needs.  At his last school he was specially chosen to be a buddy to a child with special needs (I'm almost certain the child has Down syndrome), and even when the other kids made fun of the child with special needs and also of Caleb for being a friend to the child he stood firm in his friendship of this special child.  When Caleb changed schools he was very concerned about his friend not having him there to help him, and he started asking right away if he would have an opportunity at the next school to help kids with special needs.

So this birthday I wanted to honor Caleb by having people donate to our account on Reece's Rainbow to help get Caleb's little brother home.  We are very close to having our travel approval, but we can't travel until we have the money for the $6,000 orphanage donation and the money for the travel expenses.  If just 100 people give $10 each we would be $1,000 closer to bringing Jonah home.  Just $10 for his 10th birthday to help get his little brother home - how great a gift is that?  And of course the more people that give the closer we get to travel!

Once again, here is the link to donate:  http://reecesrainbow.org/75910/sponsormurray
Don't be thrown off by the fact Jonah is known as "Breck" on Reece's Rainbow.  He was listed for quite some time on Reece's Rainbow before we committed to him, and "Breck" is the name he was given for his photolisting.  Remember, your donation is tax-deductible!

 

 

Let's get this little angel home!!!