Thursday, October 18, 2012

Two years, Happy 16th Birthday!

Last month, just a few days after we celebrated 2 years with Micaelyn, we also celebrated 2 years with Joshua. Then immediately after that was his 16th birthday. Unfortunately I was too busy to blog about it at the time, but I didn't want to do anymore posting until I got a chance to write a post about Joshua. He deserves it!

Joshua is an AMAZING kid! He is very nearly a perfect child. It's hard to believe we almost didn't get to adopt him. We were already in the process to adopt Micaelyn (a child who herself had waited many months on the photolisting) when we decided to adopt Joshua, a teenage boy who was about to "age-out," i.e. turn 14 years old and be marked as "too old" for adoption. Very sadly, our agency was willing to let him age-out and live the rest of his life as an orphan rather than let us adopt him, despite our previous experience with older child adoption, because they were unwilling to make an exception to their rule of not ever allowing families to adopt two unrelated children at the same time.

It took a HUGE battle to finally get the agency's approval to adopt Joshua. It was many weeks of endless meetings with social workers, numerous committee meetings, and countless phone calls and emails (during which time Micaelyn's adoption was put completely on hold, a huge concern considering her risk for tumors was so high she needed blood work every 6 weeks and ultrasounds every 12 weeks to screen for tumors but was receiving NO medical treatment in China for her condition).

In the end I wrote about 40,000 words to defend our case - my arguments ranged from our knowledge and experience in adoption, particularly older child adoption and attachment issues, to their mission as a Christian organization "dedicated to carrying out God's plan for every child to have a permanent, loving family," Joshua's need for a family, their responsibility to find him a family, and the lack of any other families who were both willing and able to adopt him in time. I wrote about other older children who had been listed with their agency but for whom they had never found a family, and I even included pictures of some of the ones who had aged out most recently (We actually first inquired about Joshua months before we really started to fight for him, and as it started to get closer and closer to his 14th birthday I started watching the agency's photolisting more and more waiting for him to find a family. During this time period other kids were already aging out, and I kept their pictures knowing that if it came down to the line and we had to fight for Joshua I could use this to help him avoid the same sad fate the others were dealt, a fate I still feel could have been avoided had the agency fought for those kids to have a family like we fought for Joshua to be our son).

In the end, although we waged a great war, I truly believe it was God's hand in it all that finally led the agency to give us their approval to adopt Joshua along with Micaelyn.  I will never forget the call from our agency to give us the news, nor their words to keep quiet and not make a big deal out of it because they didn't want other people to think they might also be able to get approval.  I said that whenever I told people about it I would make sure to say we were the rare exception to their rule.  Their response was, "No, you are not the rare exception, you are the ONLY exception."  Ironically, shortly after our fight there were a couple of other families allowed to bring home two kids at one time, both involving kids who were about to turn 14.  It was really tough to accept the fact that others were given approval so much more easily after we were put through so much in our battle to adopt Joshua, but at the same time we knew that had we not fought that battle for Joshua, had we not won the fight with our agency, had we not "broken the mold" for them, those other families would never have gotten approval either.  So our fight not only allowed Joshua to know the love of a family, it also helped a couple of other kids as well.  I know there are people who do not like to use the phrase "save a child" when referring to adoption, but when you look at the fate these children would have faced without adoption and the fact they were so close to that fate one could definitely make the argument Joshua and these other children were in fact "saved."  So while I will never be able to think about our battle with the agency without having a lot of hard feelings, knowing we not only got Joshua but also helped those other kids makes it all worth while.

So while we feel very blessed to have all our children, we know Joshua is an extra special blessing, really a miracle.  We came so close to not getting him, he came so close to not being adopted.  We so often look at him and think about that, about how close he came to a very different fate, about how close we came to never experiencing all the joy he brings to our family.  It took a fight to get him home, but he is so worth the battle we fought.  We are so thankful to God for bringing us the miracle of this great son.  Happy 2 years, happy 16th birthday, Joshua!


Thursday, September 6, 2012

More tumor screening

Micaelyn and Elianna had their routine trip to the hospital last week to screen for tumors.  We got word today that all was good, praise God!

Mostly I don't think about their risk for cancer, but I have to admit the thought has crossed my mind occasionally that with TWO precious daughters having such a high risk for tumors the chance that at least one of them will develop cancer is just plain scary.  There are times I look at Elianna's beautiful head of hair and pray she never loses it to chemotherapy.  Then there is Micaelyn, who so often complains about her short hair in China, how they shaved it all off "because it had bugs in it!"  She has been so happy to let her hair grow out, and after 2 years it is finally to the point of being long (though not as long as she wants it).  How awful it would be for her to lose it all again!  And obviously losing their hair is minor compared to all the other concerns of a child dealing with cancer.

However, thankfully God is in control, and I allow my faith in Him to guide my life, not my fear of what could happen.  I remember back when Micaelyn was in China being concerned about the fact that as an orphan she was NOT receiving any of the necessary screening for tumors.  There was a chance we could get her home only to find she had tumors that were too far progressed to be treatable.  It was troubling to consider that possibility, but we went on faith that the same God who so perfectly created her was still holding her in the palms of His great hands.

Now I have these TWO precious daughters, both Chinese, though born on the opposite sides of the world, both with the same rare genetic syndrome.  Many people with BWS will never know anybody else with the same syndrome, and yet these two girls will grow up together sharing not only a bond of adoption and of ethnicity but also of BWS.  They will never have to feel alone in having BWS, they will always have each other!  What an amazing bond these two sweet sisters share!
At the waiting area inside Children's Hospital.  When you have a child that has to have blood work taken every 6 weeks plus ultrasounds every 12 weeks you do all you can to minimize the pain and maximize the fun.  I do a lot to make our frequent visits to the hospital fun (thank goodness for a good gift shop!),  and one of the things I have always done to help Micaelyn is take pictures of her during her ultrasound.  She LOVES having her picture taken,  so this not only adds an element of fun but also allows her to really see the overall picture of what they are doing.  Since the ultrasounds just involve her abdomen, sides, and back she doesn't have to take any clothes off (for this reason I never put her in a dress on hospital days - lifting up her shirt a bit is much less revealing than having to lift a dress all the way up).  However, this time we weren't able to take any pictures.  The hospital instituted a policy of no pictures.  While I understand not taking pictures during certain procedures, particularly if there are safety/emergency concerns, (e.g. I don't take pictures during the blood work because it is a traumatizing event and I feel it would be inappropriate to take pictures of my daughters like this, rather I need to be there holding and comforting them) I really feel it is my right as the parent to choose when I take pictures of my children.  Micaelyn was quite disappointed!

Introducing.........!!!!!

We are so proud to announce the newest addition to our family, a special little princess who is turning 1 year old TODAY!

We weren't planning another adoption just yet, but as always God's plans are so much better than our own!  When an agency contacted us about a little girl they felt would be perfect for our family, how could we say no?  We definitely had some reservations, but only because of the financial strain we are in from having completed 5 special needs adoptions in 6 years time.  However, while there were lots of verses in the Bible to encourage us and motivated us to proceed with the adoption, there was one passage that prevailed more so than all the rest:


For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’  “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
“He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ - Matthew 25: 42-45


When presented with the opportunity to love and care for this precious little child, to make her our daughter, there were only 2 possible answers - yes or no.  To say no seemed to be saying no not just to this baby girl but also to God himself.  We have always said we go on faith, and since money was the ONLY reason we could find to say no in the end we realized we really had no reason!  We would just have to proceed on faith that God would provide.

So while we weren't planning to start another adoption until we were a bit more stable financially, once this precious angel was presented to us we knew that once again we were seeing God's plan in action, not our own!  While we are trying to figure out how we'll cover all the adoption expenses, knowing without doubt God will provide, we are also growing ever more excited about having another little girl in our home.  She is only 4 1/2 months older than Elianna (and her Chinese name is An Na!), so they will be "virtual twins."  Of course since we are just now starting the process it will be close to a year before we bring her home, but I am already eagerly awaiting the day I can finally hold her in my arms and give this sweet baby all the love she needs!

Happy Birthday, baby girl!  You are no longer an orphan waiting for a family, you are now our BELOVED DAUGHTER waiting to come HOME!!!!!!!!!!!
Our precious daughter, Zhou An Na.  Her special needs are listed as cleft lip & palate, hearing impairment, and an enlarged liver,  but we think her most special need is to be loved!  

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

TWO YEARS!!!

Two years ago today a little girl walked into our arms, and our lives were forever changed!!!

I will never forget the first time I saw her.  As soon as the car pulled up to the building I started searching everywhere for her, and then I saw her walking up.  I had known this girl as my daughter through nothing more than a few pictures for OVER A YEAR, and for many months before that I had looked at her picture daily praying for her to find a family.  All those many, many months of dreaming of my daughter, and finally there she was in person!  I tried to hold myself together for her sake, but once I picked her up the held-up emotions of so many months of waiting burst through and the tears began to flow.  Poor little girl didn't know what to think!

Our first days together were tough.  She grieved terribly.  She cried.  She was inconsolable.  She tried leaving and would even try to escape in the middle of the night (thankfully the sound of the door opening always woke me).  However, before we even left China she had attached to us, and within just a month it was as if she had always been with us.

We had planned to adopt a baby from China, but as always God's plans are so much better than our own.  We knew this little girl needed a family, and we knew even though we had wanted a baby we could love her just as much as a baby.  I am ever so glad that I was willing to give up my dream of adopting a baby girl from China to accept the blessing of adopting a preschooler instead.  It didn't take long to realize just how perfectly this little girl fit into our family!  Micaelyn has filled our hearts with great love, our lives with great happiness, and our home with great humor.

Happy Forever Family Day, sweet daughter!  We are so very blessed and honored to be your parents!  We love you!

Our first glimpse.  Love at first sight!



Daddy's first time holding her.


First evening with her back at the hotel.  Poor little angel was so sad.  :(  But she did like all her pretty new clothes and jewelry I had brought, and she liked it when I painted her nails.  :)

Caleb tried to make her feel better when she went to bed.

Up bright and early the next morning, bag packed and ready to leave.  Notice she is holding a shoe.  She really liked her new shoes I had brought so she put them on but still felt the need to take her others with her.  However, she could only get one to fit in her backpack so she resorted to carrying the other.

Her first smiles with us!  It was such a good thing we had taken Caleb and Malachi with us because they were the ones who got her laughing and playing.  She had a lot of fun with them!

Happily settled in to her new life.  Hair all grown out.  Showing off her new smile (before her tongue reduction surgery her smile was very open-mouthed with a lot of tongue showing).  Loving life with her new family in America, but still a Chinese princess, loves her Chinese clothes and Chinese food, and still a pro with her chopsticks!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Routine Hospital Visit

Last week Micaelyn had her routine ultrasound and blood work to screen for tumors.  She also had a kidney function test since BWS puts her at high risk for other kidney problems beyond just cancer (and unfortunately her orphanage in China was known to have used the melamine-tainted formula which led to kidney problems, and Micaelyn was probably drinking this all the way up until we got her at 3 1/2 years old since they often keep kids on formula longer there).


It was all very routine, but there was one huge difference this time around.


This time Micaelyn had a buddy along with her!  Yes, our little Elianna also has Beckwith-Weidemann Syndrome, just like Micaelyn.



What an adorable little patient she is!




Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Our indescribable gift!

Yes, our new daughter is Chinese.

No, she is not in China.

She is here in my arms!!!

At just 3 months old!!!!!


First moments with Mommy.

Indescribable joy in meeting our precious little angel!
First bath from Mommy.

Taking in all the action in a home full of kids!




This was an absolutely amazing whirlwind adoption experience, taking just 1 month from the time we found out about our baby girl to the time we held her in our arms.  In just 4 weeks we completed the home study and all other necessary paperwork, planned a trip, and traveled to meet our sweet little angel!  After 4 previous lengthy adoptions, all full of troubles, it's still impossible to believe we completed an adoption so quickly and easily!  Also, because we have always had a heart for the waiting children our previous adoptions have all been "older" children.  Caleb (our biological son) has been our only baby.  It is such a joy to have a baby in our home again!

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! - 2 Corinthians 9:15

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Introducing...

our newest blessing, our precious little Elianna!