In my last post I mentioned how many people talk about adoption but few ever do it. Like I said, it must sound nice to say, "We've thought about adopting." I hear it all the time, always followed by excuses to explain why they haven't done it yet and almost certainly never will.
The most common excuse I hear is the financial burden of adoption. To that I argue that if you really want to adopt, you will find a way to make it happen. I have seen many families complete adoptions that cost more than a year's salary for them, yet they did it. Most adoptive parents do not wait until we have $20,000 or more to adopt, we go on faith that God will provide. We save, and we work hard.
In January my husband and I will celebrate 11 years of marriage. In that 11 years we have NEVER taken a real vacation. My husband has long since wanted to take me to Europe where he was born. His grandmother still lives there, and he hasn't gotten to see her in all this time. At her age, there isn't much time left to be able to see her. He has friends in several countries across Europe he has wanted me to meet, and I know he longs to return to places that are special to him. Yet, we have not traveled to Europe. Nor have we traveled to Hawaii or any other resort destination. We've not been on a cruise, we didn't even go to Disney World when we lived just a short drive away in Florida and could have gotten passes at a great discount for being a Florida resident. We have driven to San Antonio, Texas to see my husband's dad only twice in 11 years. We have never traveled as a family to California to visit his mom, though fortunately he has had several opportunities to visit there himself, often through work so that expenses were covered. Why have we never taken a vacation? Why have we visited family so few times? Why has my husband not been back to the land of his birth to see his elderly grandmother since our marriage 11 years ago? It is because we have not just "thought about" adopting, we are doing it! Thus we have made sacrifices. Yes, adoption is expensive, but through sacrifice and hard work we are making it happen time and time again. Yes, we have dealt with debt at a time in which countless financial experts, especially Christian ones, have seminars and programs teaching us to be debt free. Yet, we feel this debt is worthwhile. What parent wouldn't spend thousands on medical treatment to save their child's life just because it would put them in debt? In the same way, if someone truly wants to adopt the financial burden will not stop them. It may cause them to sacrifice vacations and other luxuries, it may mean a second job, it may mean some debt, but it won't mean their child remains an orphan.
The financial burden isn't the only excuse I'm given. Many people have told me, "Well, we thought about adopting, but then I got pregnant again." I just don't even understand this excuse. Adoption is not just for infertile people, and getting pregnant doesn't mean you can't adopt! My husband and I had actually planned for adoption as our FIRST choice to having a child. We had hoped to adopt first, and then have a child biologically. However, when we first started looking into adoption I was several years too young (most agencies require you to be at least 25). Thus we ended up having a biological child first, but even during my pregnancy we were planning an adoption. Caleb was just 7 months old when we started the adoption process for Christina.
Likewise, others have told me they would like to adopt but they feel they already have too many kids (saddest part is the ones who say this usually only have 2-4, maybe 5 kids). If you really want to adopt, it won't matter how many kids you have. I know of many adoptive families who have at least 7 kids and are adopting yet again, and there are more than a few families out there with at least 10 kids who are still bringing more home. Don't use your children as an excuse!
Another excuse I'm given sometimes is age - people think they are just too old to adopt. I know of many, many people who are in their 50's adopting children. Some are adopting babies and toddlers, and others who feel too old to parent such a young child are reaching out to help the older kids who are so often "overlooked" by most people's desire to adopt a baby or toddler. If you really are too old (or perhaps have health problems) to make adoption a viable option for you personally, perhaps you could help your grown children or another family to adopt.
These are just some of the excuses people give for not adopting. Most of the time these excuse are really just a way of saying, "We don't really want to adopt a child." I have talked to a few people who I know are serious about wanting to adopt and who I think probably will do so in the future. To anyone who is serious about adopting, we are more than willing to give you any advice, encouragement, and support we can to help you in the journey. To those who have just "thought about adopting," I urge you to do more than just think about it - pray about it, research it, and do it!!!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
A Plea for the Orphans
It's the day after Thanksgiving, the great shopping day. Millions of people across America braved the crowds and cold to spend billions of dollars on electronics, toys, jewelry, and other gift items. While Americans descended upon the stores by the millions, at the same time millions of others around the world were dying for lack of food, water, and medical care. War, famine, disease, and poverty have destroyed families, leaving many children as orphans while killing many other innocent children. Untold millions and millions of children are suffering right now. They are thirsty, hungry, cold, and sick. They have no home to live in. Many have no family either. They ravage through piles of garbage in hopes of finding enough food to carry them through another day. In their thirst they drink waste water which only makes them sicker. Even little children sell their bodies into prostitution in a futile effort to survive. They are used by others in the drug business, and in the process they destroy what's left of their bodies through drug abuse. The lucky ones end up in orphanages where they at least have shelter and maybe at least 2 small meals a day. Many are abused mentally, physically, and sexually within the orphanages, but it is at least better than life on the streets. They are forgotten in our world by most people. To them it seems no one cares. There seems to be no hope for these children, and yet those who still have some small spirit of life within them realize there is a hope. They have heard stories of other orphans, unwanted and unloved children just like themselves, who received a great miracle, a miracle of love - a family.
Right now millions of children around the world are wishing for just one special thing for Christmas, a family. Yet on Thanksgiving Day in America where families gathered together with loved ones to give thanks for our many blessings, few people remembered the orphans in their prayers. Those who are Christians are called to care for these precious children. Many Christians think about adopting, but unfortunately for most it's just a nice thought, not a true plan of action. It must sound nice to say, "We've thought about adopting." I certainly hear it all the time. It's usually followed by at least one or two excuses to explain the lack of follow-through. However, as an adoptive parent myself who has spent the last decade connecting with other adoptive families, I know that these excuses are most often truly excuses, not valid reasons for not adopting. The bottom line is that if you really want to adopt a child you will find a way to make it happen. Statistics indicate many, many Christians think about adopting, but only a very small percentage actually follow through. If all of the Christians who thought about adoption actually adopted just one child, there would be no orphans left. Children who are now dying would instead be home with their families, wrapped in love, safe from harm, healthy, and with a bright future. They would learn about Jesus, and they would have hope.
November is National Adoption Month. I know adoption isn't for everyone, but all Christians are called to care for these precious children (and I know many other religions teach the same). Certainly many more people could adopt, and so I urge you to pray earnestly about adoption. Don't just "think about it." Surely you have heard the phrase "Actions speak louder than words." I like to think about James 1:22 from the Bible - "Be you doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves." Another version reads, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." In the same passage just a few verses down in James 1:27 the scripture reads, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Actions really do speak louder than words - don't just talk about adopting, do it! Be a doer of God's word, not just a hearer. Isaiah 1:17 says, "Defend the orphan." As mentioned before, James 1:27 tells us that part of a pure and faultless religion is to look after orphans. Does it get any clearer than this? We are not just called to look after orphans, we are COMMANDED to do so!
The Bible gives us many examples of adoption to follow. Moses was adopted by the Pharaoh's daughter after his birth mother gave him up in an attempt to save his life. Esther was adopted by her uncle after her parents died. Jesus himself was adopted and raised as Joseph's son during his life here on earth. Furthermore, the Bible says as Christians we have been adopted by our Heavenly Father. Ephesians 1:5 reads "He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will." Romans 8:15 says, "You have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba! Father!'" Indeed, the Bible not only commands us to care for orphans, it also shows us how to care for them.
Even if you do not feel you can adopt, there are many ways you can help the orphans of our world (and that includes kids here in the US). I will touch on some of those ways in later posts. However, before you dismiss adoption, pray about it. Adoption is not just for infertile people, it is for all people who care about children. It is not a last resort to having a child, it is a first choice to loving a child. It is not about finding a child for your family, it is about finding a family for each child. Adoption is about love, amazing love, and great blessings, for though many adoptive parents are told how lucky our children are to be adopted by us, when we look at our precious children we know we are the ones who have been truly blessed. Are you willing to give your love to a child in need? Are you willing to accept the indescribable blessing God has waiting for you through adoption? Are you willing to bring home your child, or will you instead say no to the child who is waiting for you? A child waits at this moment for your answer...
Right now millions of children around the world are wishing for just one special thing for Christmas, a family. Yet on Thanksgiving Day in America where families gathered together with loved ones to give thanks for our many blessings, few people remembered the orphans in their prayers. Those who are Christians are called to care for these precious children. Many Christians think about adopting, but unfortunately for most it's just a nice thought, not a true plan of action. It must sound nice to say, "We've thought about adopting." I certainly hear it all the time. It's usually followed by at least one or two excuses to explain the lack of follow-through. However, as an adoptive parent myself who has spent the last decade connecting with other adoptive families, I know that these excuses are most often truly excuses, not valid reasons for not adopting. The bottom line is that if you really want to adopt a child you will find a way to make it happen. Statistics indicate many, many Christians think about adopting, but only a very small percentage actually follow through. If all of the Christians who thought about adoption actually adopted just one child, there would be no orphans left. Children who are now dying would instead be home with their families, wrapped in love, safe from harm, healthy, and with a bright future. They would learn about Jesus, and they would have hope.
November is National Adoption Month. I know adoption isn't for everyone, but all Christians are called to care for these precious children (and I know many other religions teach the same). Certainly many more people could adopt, and so I urge you to pray earnestly about adoption. Don't just "think about it." Surely you have heard the phrase "Actions speak louder than words." I like to think about James 1:22 from the Bible - "Be you doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves." Another version reads, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." In the same passage just a few verses down in James 1:27 the scripture reads, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Actions really do speak louder than words - don't just talk about adopting, do it! Be a doer of God's word, not just a hearer. Isaiah 1:17 says, "Defend the orphan." As mentioned before, James 1:27 tells us that part of a pure and faultless religion is to look after orphans. Does it get any clearer than this? We are not just called to look after orphans, we are COMMANDED to do so!
The Bible gives us many examples of adoption to follow. Moses was adopted by the Pharaoh's daughter after his birth mother gave him up in an attempt to save his life. Esther was adopted by her uncle after her parents died. Jesus himself was adopted and raised as Joseph's son during his life here on earth. Furthermore, the Bible says as Christians we have been adopted by our Heavenly Father. Ephesians 1:5 reads "He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will." Romans 8:15 says, "You have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba! Father!'" Indeed, the Bible not only commands us to care for orphans, it also shows us how to care for them.
Even if you do not feel you can adopt, there are many ways you can help the orphans of our world (and that includes kids here in the US). I will touch on some of those ways in later posts. However, before you dismiss adoption, pray about it. Adoption is not just for infertile people, it is for all people who care about children. It is not a last resort to having a child, it is a first choice to loving a child. It is not about finding a child for your family, it is about finding a family for each child. Adoption is about love, amazing love, and great blessings, for though many adoptive parents are told how lucky our children are to be adopted by us, when we look at our precious children we know we are the ones who have been truly blessed. Are you willing to give your love to a child in need? Are you willing to accept the indescribable blessing God has waiting for you through adoption? Are you willing to bring home your child, or will you instead say no to the child who is waiting for you? A child waits at this moment for your answer...
Friday, November 20, 2009
More Micaelyn pictures
My favorite picture, an unexpected blessing. There's a great story behind this picture, but for important reasons the only part I can share is the picture. This picture was taken taken June 1 of this year at 2 years old. I think my daughter is a beautiful, very sweet looking little girl!
The next 2 pictures were taken around June or July of this year (2 years old). They are the only ones we have to see her cute smile. Her eyes look like they can light up a room!
Probably my favorite picture after the first one above. This one was taken last December when she was around 22 months old. She looks packed up and ready to come home to her family!
This one was taken at the same time as the previous one. It is a traditional Chinese referral photo with the red background. It's a bit sad to see my little girl's head shaved!
This picture is of her at around 12 months old, her first traditional referral photo.
Micaelyn was featured on waiting child lists for many months in the hopes of finding her a family. I'll add more details in a later post, but one of her special needs is an enlarged tongue. There is a very good chance we will have to have tongue reduction surgery for her when we bring her home. Although her tongue doesn't stick out in more recent pictures, it's obviously still too large as she doesn't appear to close her mouth. Also, if you click on the top picture to enlarge it you can see the drool on her chin. It is probably hard for her to close her mouth due to her enlarged tongue. Since she has always had this problem she doesn't notice the drool like most kids her age would. An enlarged tongue can cause lots of problems with teeth and jaw development, and sometimes it interferes with speech as well. Occasionally it can even interfere with respiration and cause problems with breathing while sleeping. Micaelyn will need to be seen by a craniofacial team when she comes home to deal with her enlarged tongue and any other craniofacial problems that she may have. This is in addition to the geneticists and other doctors she'll see due to the genetic syndrome she has! The next 2 pictures were taken at the same time as the one above.
That's all the pictures we have of our precious little girl. We think she is just perfect. Some people see an enlarged tongue and a syndrome. We see an amazing blessing greater than we deserve, given by God's own hand for us to love forever!
The next 2 pictures were taken around June or July of this year (2 years old). They are the only ones we have to see her cute smile. Her eyes look like they can light up a room!
Probably my favorite picture after the first one above. This one was taken last December when she was around 22 months old. She looks packed up and ready to come home to her family!
This one was taken at the same time as the previous one. It is a traditional Chinese referral photo with the red background. It's a bit sad to see my little girl's head shaved!
This picture is of her at around 12 months old, her first traditional referral photo.
Micaelyn was featured on waiting child lists for many months in the hopes of finding her a family. I'll add more details in a later post, but one of her special needs is an enlarged tongue. There is a very good chance we will have to have tongue reduction surgery for her when we bring her home. Although her tongue doesn't stick out in more recent pictures, it's obviously still too large as she doesn't appear to close her mouth. Also, if you click on the top picture to enlarge it you can see the drool on her chin. It is probably hard for her to close her mouth due to her enlarged tongue. Since she has always had this problem she doesn't notice the drool like most kids her age would. An enlarged tongue can cause lots of problems with teeth and jaw development, and sometimes it interferes with speech as well. Occasionally it can even interfere with respiration and cause problems with breathing while sleeping. Micaelyn will need to be seen by a craniofacial team when she comes home to deal with her enlarged tongue and any other craniofacial problems that she may have. This is in addition to the geneticists and other doctors she'll see due to the genetic syndrome she has! The next 2 pictures were taken at the same time as the one above.
That's all the pictures we have of our precious little girl. We think she is just perfect. Some people see an enlarged tongue and a syndrome. We see an amazing blessing greater than we deserve, given by God's own hand for us to love forever!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Introducing...
Our precious new daughter, Micaelyn Patricia Yiyi (Yiyi is her Chinese name which we will use as a second middle name. I don't post our last name online.) Micaelyn is 2 1/2 years old. We are head over heels in love with her and can't wait to bring her home!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)